Cake # 19 Coconut Lamingtons

So this week, as a special treat to the greatest mother on this side of the Milky Way, this week’s cake was made by none other than yours truly, Theodore William Patrick Childs, and though I am no expert in the art of verboseness, nor do I possess the gift of rhetorical flair and eloquence, as part of the deal I agreed to write the week’s blog as well. I wish only that this post lives up in reputation to those that have preceded it. I also wish that I never have to make a cake solo again, because baking is far more work than the cookbook suggests, and the shadow cast by Laura’s baking excellence adds just that much more pressure.

Anyway, the cake this week was not really a cake at all, but instead a set of coconut lamingtons, which are really little mini-cakes, covered in chocolate icing and coconut. Well… at least that is what they are supposed to be, but as you read on you will find that despite following the directions perfectly (a feat on its own and verified by not only Laura, but my mother and grandfather as well) the process of covering the lamingtons became so nightmarishly difficult, that I gave up after one lamington and only covered the tops of the rest with icing and coconut, resulting in a cupcake-like end product. Of course this little bit of baking shenanigans came on the heels of a week that had already served to frazzle the nerves of all those living in the casa de la children: on Monday, with no warning or reason, a kitchen cabinet fell from the wall destroying the bottle of Jameson on top (tear) and sending shards of glass and alcohol across the kitchen floor; on Wednesday, I realized while doing laundry that our washing machine had stopped agitating and spinning and therefore left me with a huge pile of soaked clothes; and finally, on Friday out computer contracted a virus that rendered our internet useless until this morning when Laura’s brother Paul fixed it. Needless to say this has been an interesting week. But anyway… back to the cake!

The cake and the icing themselves were actually quite simple to make. The cake called for flour, baking powder, butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, milk, and just a bit (2 tbsp) of dry coconut to add a bit of variety. My only mistake in baking the cake was pulling it out of the oven a few minutes to early; after letting it cool for ten minutes and transferring it to a wire rack, Laura breezed into the kitchen, and with barely a glance, informed me that the center was still a bit undone. So back into the oven it went, and a few minutes the cake was complete (for real) and out of the oven to cool. The icing too was fairly simple to make, and this being the second icing I personally have made from scratch, I am starting to get a big ego about it. The icing called for unsweetened cocoa, boiling water, butter, and 4 ½ cups of powdered sugar. That’s right… 4 ½ CUPS. Somewhere in Bel Air, as we speak, my dentist is seeing little dollar sign-shaped fireworks going off before his eyes.

It was at this point in the lamington-making process that the wheels really fell off the car, because according to the directions, and I quote, I had to “Dip each piece of sponge cake into the icing, holding with 2 forks to coat evenly, then toss in coconut to cover.” Now let me quite clear dear reader, because I want to reiterate something in an effort to stave off any accusations of grievance on my part… I FOLLOWED THE DIRECTIONS! And yet, the product was not a sponge cake; it was instead a normal, run-of-the-mill, birthday style cake.  Apparently the editors of this cookbook are either quite dense (unlike their cake) or on the pipe, because the cake that I made, although deliciously tasty, was also far too moist and crumbly to be dipped in chocolate icing and then coated with coconut. The result fell apart and became a big mess. Even adding more hot water, as suggested by my mother (Hi Mom!) couldn’t thin the icing to a consistency that would destroy the cake pieces. Ultimately, with Laura’s help, we salvaged one piece that looked something like the picture in the book:

 Our Picture:

For the rest, I simply coated the tops with frosting and dusted with coconut, damn the consequences. I know what you’re thinking… how could “follow-the-directions Laura” allow such an iconoclast into her kitchen. Well, she handled it like a pro. Then she promptly asked me to never bake one of her cakes again! Ah well… it will be back to assisting for next week’s cake, Marshmallow Crunch Bars. Until then, happy Mother’s Day to all of the mamas out there!