Another
cake made for another mother other than me or my mom. Well that last part isn’t
completely true. Today’s cake was made in honor of Ted’s mom, who I have
struggled with all of our marriage to call “Mom.” Not because I didn’t feel the
connection, or the warmth, or let’s face it, the undeniable smothering type
love that she gives so freely to me, but because I have never been good with
the whole “share your feelings” type stuff. This is why I am completely in love
with her son, even after twelve years of being together, because he is one of
the few people (wait for the cliché) that I feel like I can be myself around
and I do not have to explain it, or worry that he will judge me. I bring up Ted
yet again in another one of these blogs because I have to admire the woman that
raised him. I could give you the back story of a young mom raising two children
by herself after a divorce but Ted’s mom is so much more than the challenges
that she has had to face.
She is
a woman whose heart is big enough for everyone in her extremely loud and
incredibly close Irish family and even for a few stragglers, like me, along the
way. I will not lie, when I first met her I was overwhelmed, kind of like when
you go into a candy store and there is so much to look at and buy, and you just
do not know where to start. It must have been somewhere between the
introductions of the second cousins and the great aunts that I realized that
there was something special about this woman. Even though Ted’s family is large
and gets together often, they do not all naturally intermingle at these get
togethers. Yet, all of the different subfamilies always seem to gather around
Ted’s mom. It has been amazing to observe her over the years preserve close
relationships with family members by giving them all of herself, her time, her
compassion, and her advice. This is true of her friends as well. I remember the
first time it really hit me that she was an amazing person. It was right after
Ted’s grandmother died, and his mother’s neighbors came pouring in the house
just to see if his mom was okay. I was astonished to see the genuine concern on
their faces, no obligation – just love and deep respect.
She is
a woman who truly embraces the role of a grandmother. Evalyn can always count
on her “Nan” to call her at least once a week to see how she is doing. In only
two years of her precious little life, Evalyn already has a summer tradition
with her Nan. Every summer she goes to the Zoo with Ted’s mom and takes
pictures petting the billy goats. And do not even get me started on how much
she spoils my daughter. Almost every single time Evie goes to her Nan’s or her
Nan comes over our house she is giving some sort of present to either Evie, a
new dress, or ourselves, a free night.
Like
the Pear and Streusel Cake that I made for her, she is a woman who is a comfort
to me. The cake I made is a cake that would go well with a soothing cup of tea,
and it is made with warm, rich ingredients of dark brown sugar, butter, and
hazelnuts, and light, sweet ingredients of sugar, vanilla, and pears. I see
Ted’s mom as a piece of this cake, comfortable, familiar, and sweet. You see,
now I know why I feel so comfortable around Ted, it is a trait that he has
learned from his mother, to be compassionate to others. I think that is what
makes me love her most – the fact that she has gotten me, someone who is hardly
comfortable in her own skin, to relax (as much as humanly possible for me to
relax) and feel at ease when I am around her, is amazing.
The
book’s cake:
My
cake wrapped in box for Ted’s mom:
So for
the month of May and Mother’s Day- this cake is for you – I love you “Mom”.
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